Titles

Mr. Hayes, what do you think about referring to teachers in a dojo as sensei?

I always refer to any teacher at any dojo I visit as "Mr." or "Ms." as appropriate with the person's last name. I do the same with police officers, medical doctors, college professors, and government office-holders, because it lets them know that I expect professional treatment from a professional. I would like to create the same kind of expectations in my dojo.

This is the opposite of the insecure person who stubbornly insists on referring to a professionally higher person by his or her first name because, "He's just a guy who puts his pants on one leg at a time just like me." To me, the thought of referring to a professionally important or superior person by their first name is gross, or at least hints that I need to pretend to some peer-like relationship in order to make up for personal feelings of inadequacy. I always smile when one of my Bujinkan juniors refers to me as "Steve" on other mail-lists; I know exactly what they are trying to do by means of their casual disrespect of my name. Calling His Holiness the Dalai Lama "Tenzin" or Grandmaster Masaaki Hatsumi "Masa" or the President of the United States "Bill" is creepy and would as well in a subtle way imply absolving that person of having to live up to the demands of the stature of the Office.

Because I am 50 years old and the senior-most teacher of the Bujinkan Dojo Kasumi-An and the Quest Center network, I will sometimes refer to younger teachers as "Firstname Lastname", as in, "OK. Everybody line up with Megan Downey!" That way it does not appear odd with "Mr." or "Ms." addressed to a youngster, and at the same time does not demean the young person's stature with a first-name-only reference. And even then, I will sometimes adopt an on-purpose very formal tone and refer to a young helper as "Mr. Hill", just for fun. When any student asks me a yes/no question, I often answer them with "Sir" or "Ma'am", even the young ones. As long as I do it in a happy tone of voice, no one seems to question my verbal respect or think it odd.

I generally do not use terms like Shihan or Sensei with people of non-Japanese ethnicity, as in "Smith Sensei". Nothing wrong with using the Japanese titles; I just find that it tends to make the dojo even more awkward for new students. It is also slightly embarrassing to me when I meet a fellow adult student somewhere like the country club or Chamber of Commerce meeting and watch them go through the "What do I call him here?" dilemma. "Mr. Hayes" always fits, but I respect and enjoy other students' choice to refer to my wife or me as "Shidoshi Hayes" or "Sensei".

I was asked for my opinion, so remember that this is only my opinion and not some sort of law. One friend has a martial arts school in Chicago with over 1200 students who cheerfully refer to him as "Fred", so do what makes you comfortable. I just feel that it is easier to expect a life-changing experience in the dojo if you are training with a person whom you do not address in the same fashion as one of your "good buddies".

- Stephen K. Hayes