Historical The Quest List Post 28

From: Christopher S. Penn
Subject: [The Quest List] A touch of humor
Date: 1999-08-29 01:29:00

Located on one of the many top ten lists on the web:

The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the
Wrong Martial Arts School

13. Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.

12. First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling into the
fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.

11. Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his spilled
pocket protector.

10. The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars" are just
slices of old cheese.

9. The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.

8. The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of the Three
Stooges.

7. Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in
dark alleys.

6. Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.

5. Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to end.

4. Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does not exist in
this dojo!"

3. You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying to tie your
belt on.

2. Spent the first eight lessons learning to talk while moving your lips in
a seemingly unrelated manner.

and the Number 1 Sign You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...

1. At the end of every class, your instructor says, "...or you could just
buy a friggin' gun."

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